I Am Already Here

ordinary moments

Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.- Buddha

This is it. This is life.

I was sitting at my desk one day last week. I was munching on some sunflower seeds. I was typing away on my keyboard. I had this thought in my head. This is it. This is what life is all about.

Sitting on the toilet is life.

Eating a meal with family is life.

Walking to work is life.

Scratching your belly while at home watching TV is life.

Life Is All The Ordinary Moments

All the mundane and the unnecessary and the crazy and the fun moments in life – they are all life.

Why did I have this thought? I don’t know how to explain it, but I will do my best below.

For the past few years, I have been waiting to live my ideal life.

I have been waiting for that moment in the future where I will be able to finally live.

It is analogous to that horrible chair pose in yoga. You are in that squatting position, with your derriere exposed to the world. Your quadriceps are burning. And you are so not happy. You want to kill the teacher for bringing you into the pose. You want the pose to end. All you can think of is the end. All of your mind is occupied with this one single thought – I want this pose to end, I want the end to come, I will be happy when the end comes, my life will be complete when the end of this pose arrives.

And then what happens? The pose ends. Anti-climactic much? The pose ends and the world doesn’t burst into fireworks at the end of the pose. There is no dramatic music to accompany the end. The horrible chair pose ends, but your life hasn’t ended.

Just One Moment In A Series Of Moments

And now, you are onto the next moment. And the next. And the next.
I spend a lot of my time in that suspended moment – in that moment while I was in chair pose, waiting for the moment to end and the next moment to come. I am forever waiting! I am forever waiting for the next moment (and then when that moment arrives, I’m forever waiting for that moment to end).

Do I truly ever live a single moment? Do I ever truly indulge in any moment completely? Do I ever savour any moment?
NO!

I don’t.

I am forever in that state of suspension.

But last week, I had a sudden Aha. It happened in the most mundane of spots as well. I’m sitting typing away at work. For some weird reason, for a moment or two, time stopped and I didn’t have this feeling that I want this moment to end. I was happy in the moment. In this mundane, weird moment, I was happy. I wasn’t thinking about the next moment in space. I wasn’t thinking about the next item on my to-do list. I wasn’t thinking about my next foot step. I was here.
This is life.

The Series of Mundane Moments Is Life

Why do I keep on forgetting that? I’m not going to live my life in the future sometime. I’m living it right now. I have to live it right now. These are the moments. These are the moments that count. Nothing else can matter. Nothing else could matter. Nothing else should matter.

This moment. Right now. My fingers are touching the keyboard right now. I pick up a water bottle to have a delicious sip of cool water. My eyes are getting blurry from staring at the screen so hard as I type away, not wanting to miss a single moment.

Remember, this is it!

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5 thoughts on “I Am Already Here

  1. I’ve found that staying in the moment is natural for me, when there is no mental clutter. So often, worries and fears get in the way. And we can’t just push them away. But looking deeply at my thoughts and redefining the ones that are fear-based, I have been able to be more aware of the present moment and live more experientially.

    1. Yes, I find the key to most negative behaviours is staying in the moment. As soon as I pull myself back to the present, everything falls into place and priorities become clear again. Thank you for your comment!

  2. I have been aware of it, but I find it hard to live in the present. My mind is always all over the place. I think I am making slight progress ever since I became aware that there’s actually no future or past, everything is in present. You can only live the present, so the best way is to live it fully.

    1. Yes, Meditation really helps with living in the present moment. I find when I don’t meditate, my mind is all over the place, and I can’t concentrate at all. But, when I meditate, I am serene and able to focus with laser precision.

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