I am sure all of us have a hundred projects we thought of beginning in our extensive lives. We decided that we would take language lessons, or snowboarding lessons. We decided to mend our relationship with our high-school sweetheart, or start playing the harp again. There are a million thoughts that go through our heads, and only a random few actually get translated into actions.
I find that I am always waiting for the perfect moment, for when I reach that perfect moment, everything will fall into place, and I will randomly become an expert in this particular item.
I do not want to begin because I’m afraid of doing poorly in the beginning.
I’m afraid of making a fool of myself.
I’m afraid of being imperfect.
We all have those fears. Afraid of doing something foolish in front of others. A random million others who will not think or look at you twice, because they are too deeply entrenched in their own problems and solutions.
It is easy to see this in others, when others do not begin because they are waiting for that moment.
But hard to see when we ourselves are doing something like that. When I first started writing this blog, I did it anonymously because I didn’t want to be censored by people I knew. It didn’t matter to me that people unknown would criticize me because that somehow seemed nameless and faceless to me.
Especially on the internet, it is easy to remain anonymous, and easy to be imperfect.
The thing about beginning something is that you will always have a sense of relief after you begin it.
You have probably been festering inside about it for ages, and you finally can let go. You can stop criticizing yourself about not beginning. You can also stop criticizing yourself about being horrible at something new. Every expert had to start off as an amateur. Every professional was once a newbie. Give yourself the time and space to turn into an expert, into perfection.
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