A deep sense of love and belonging is an irreducible need of all people. We are biologically, cognitively, physically, and spiritually wired to love, to be loved, and to belong. When those needs are not met, we don’t function as we were meant to. We break. We fall apart. We numb. We ache. We hurt others. We get sick. – Brene Brown
Until recently, I believed that I was the odd one out.
How did I know when someone was being fake or was lying to me? How did my intuition get to be so freaking accurate? How do I feel emotion at such a heightened level? How can I feel what others are feeling or know what others are feeling? Why do I have a hard time watching sad movies about inanimate objects – my sister makes fun of me, I feel sadder at Wall-E than at people dying in House (a medical drama)?
Learning more about the Myers-Brigg Personality Type INFJ has made me feel more and more comfortable with who I am, because I am not alone and that gives me solace of some kind. Here are some things about my INFJ quirks.
I can get anyone to talk about themselves and tell me their deep secrets.
I learned this secret when I was quite young, and I have used it since then to keep people at bay. Ask a few open-ended questions of a certain caliber based on what the person is wearing and talking about, and voila! You have a conversation going without any need for me to say a word. I became the friend who was the really good listener. No one really knows anything about me, except the details that I choose to divulge.
I know instantly if I am going to get along with someone or not.
If you didn’t rub me the right way, I change my mind but rarely. First impressions and my gut instinct matter more to me than anything in the real world. The real world could be telling me all kinds of things that are completely opposite to what is going on in my head and gut, and I would listen to my gut. As I have gotten older, my gut instinct has gotten stronger and more accurate. It is sometimes scary how accurate it can be.
I avoided intimate relationships for the longest time.
If I am going to be in a relationship, then I am going to be in it mind, body and soul. Sex isn’t just about the physical aspect for me, it is about connecting on such a deep level that you see inside that person’s soul. At that point, you are stuck together for life, at least according to me. I don’t do things halfway, and so if I am going to be in a relationship it is going to be a 110%.
I have been berated all of my life for being overly emotional.
I used to feel bad about this – I really thought there was something wrong with me for feeling so deeply. But slowly I realized that is just who I am. I feel deeply about all of the things that matter to me, and there are a lot of those items. I care deeply, I love deeply, I cry deeply, I move around the world deeply. Shallow things bother me. I cry all the time over the littlest things – if someone on TV is crying, it is an absolute that I will end up with tears in my eyes as well. I hide it well from others, but I am full of so many emotions (I have the worst poker face according to a friend, but I still believe that no one knows what I am thinking).
If I care about you, I really care about you.
I will defend you to death. I will believe in you. I will see you through rose-colored glasses. You can do no wrong according to me, and if you do do wrong, then I forgive in an instant. I have to be careful about this, because it is really easy to drain me, as I am an introvert at heart. I have to go back into my cave for days at a time to recover from giving too much of myself to my loved ones.
INFJs like me are considered to be hot and cold.
Because we love and love and love, and then we need to retreat, withdraw, and recover from all of that giving. We also think a lot so we need time to figure everything out, catalog everything in our minds, and reconcile ourselves with all of that which we have cataloged. Once we are good with that, we can go back into the world again.
Everything matters and everything happens for a reason.
I know a lot of people don’t believe the two statements above. But I believe in both implicitly. Everything I do and everyone else does matters. Every little act of hurt or kindness matters. And everything, everything, everything happens for a reason. We might not see it right away, but we will eventually see the pattern when we look back. I am always seeing signs from the universe in everything that happens to me. I feel so connected to the universe and to everyone else around me. We are all the same consciousness and I feel that more and more everyday.
Karma and idealism are two of my cornerstones.
Every bad person will eventually get their comeuppance. And there is fairness and justice in the world. There is right and wrong. My purpose on this planet is to help the world and when I leave, I will leave the world a better place for having been in it.
I will write about being an INFJ as time passes by. Let me know what you think of the post and let me know what your MBTI personality type is.
Get my FREE EMAIL COURSE on Building a Morning Routine That Will Increase Creativity
Say goodbye to procrastination. Learn the steps you can take TODAY to build a morning routine.